Report: Tom Brady is Preparing to 'Bulk Up' for the 2019 Season

Sweet mother of God. So what Ian Rapoport is telling us is that Tom Brady is still trying to improve on perfection? To go from this:

To mid-career this:

To maybe this?

And if so, would this mean an official armistice in The Pliability War, the only major conflict ever fought over rub downs and bench presses? It would appear so. Because I don’t know much about putting on muscle (which is stating the obvious), but I don’t believe you “bulk up” by eliminating tomatoes from your diet and stretching out with resistance bands. You don’t do it through the Zen philosophies of Deepak Chopra and Alex Guerrero. You do it with a high- protein diet and in the weight room, the way men who wear whistles have been advocating since they laid down the lines of the first gridiron.

And God help the rest of the football world if a suddenly buff, ripped, 8-pack-abbed Tom Brady reports to the first day of Training Camp. At an age where most NFL greats are collecting a pension and dropping all their performance-enhanced muscle, the Brady is deciding to add some. Because he’s not satisfied. Because simply being the GOAT isn’t GOAT-y enough. Or as Hemingway put it, “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.”

Dammit, as much as I’m reluctant to have him change anything in his approach, I’d love to see this happen. Just for the warning shot it would fire across the NFL landscape. For the accusations that will surely follow, because we’ve seen them before:

And to watch the rest of their league lose their fucking minds over it, as the Ravens will no doubt try to pass a rule change about how much muscle a QB can have and others will try to take draft picks away. Though mainly because I want to see if the perfect physical specimen can somehow get even better. Do it, TB12.